Cat Channel / Pet Loss Support / All About Cats / Four months and I can't stop crying... / Latest Posts

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

twiggy2001 — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 05:31:56 GMT

I got my first cat on July 24, 1982. His name was Leo also. He lived until he was almost 13. He had been diagnosed with cancer but lived a few more years. Then he had a stroke and died in February, 1995.

I was devastated more than anyone could understand. I first asked God to please let me see my baby. Then I got bolder and told God I want to hold my baby!!!!!

I had 2 other cats at the time. However, I felt I could never love another cat the way I loved Leo.

Talk about crying, if Lake Erie didn't have any water, I could have filled it with my tears. Also my depression was at an all time peak.

Then one day, my mom and I went to a mall. The pet shop I got Leo at was across from the bank. I suggested to mom that we go in and look at the cats.

There were 2 in there. One looked like Leo. But, we left.

About a week later, my husband and I had a doctors appointment. We had time to kill, so we went to that same mall. I had told him about the Leo look alike. So we wanted to see if he was still there.

Well he was. The girl that worked at the store asked us if we wanted to take him to the special room they had to sit and decide if we wanted to take him home.

As soon as we got into the room, my husband says to the cat,
Come to daddy.!! We were hooked. But, we were going to name him Joey. We had a Joshua and a Jinks so we thought we would name him with a J letter.

We brought him home and within a few weeks, he started to act just like Leo. He climbed up my husbands leg, he licked the margarine off our biscuits. He also knocked things off our night stands. The first Leo was the only one that did that. None of our other cats did this.

As time went on, I realized that God answered my prayer. I got to see my Leo and got to hold him for 13 more years.

I posted a problem on this web site this morning. I am suffering at this time too.

If you want to help me too, you can email me at twiggy 2001@cox.net

Know what you're going thru.

Sandy

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

Alexa — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:06:20 GMT

cats_dolls (7/18/2008)

Whbos, I understand. I've also felt like a murderer when I had to make the decision to have a cat put to sleep. Actually, though, you aren't a murderer at all - you loved your Pooky enough to let him go. That's a whole lot of love.

I'm totally agree. You aren't selfish and you let him go, because it was the best for him.

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

Kenogirl — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:03:20 GMT

whbos (7/18/2008)

I feel like a murderer because I picked the date, but I feel a little better knowing that he didn't suffer. I believe in the hereafter and hope I will be able to see and be with my beloved pets.

I also made the painful decision to have two of my beloved creatures euthanized. Nannette, in 1994 from kidney failure, (she was 14) and Hogni in 2006 from a combination of kidney failure and a tumor in his digestive tract (he was 18). I will never forget the last visit with each of them, and it still makes me want to cry when I remember those visits.

In each case, it was a horribly painful decision, but I feel that I did the right thing, because had I allowed them to remain alive, they would not have been truly alive. A cat who cannot move, play and cause mischief as he or she wishes is merely surviving, not really living.

As Cats Dolls said, there is a quote regarding Heaven and pets, and I am also unable to remember it exactly, but again the gist is that, if my pets are not in Heaven to greet me, then I don't want to go there.

I think the poem "Rainbow Bridge" says it all. They are there, and they are waiting patiently for your arrival.

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

cats_dolls — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 19:15:29 GMT

whbos (7/18/2008)

I feel like a murderer because I picked the date, but I feel a little better knowing that he didn't suffer. I believe in the hereafter and hope I will be able to see and be with my beloved pets.

As for seeing and being with your beloved pets - I can't remember this one well enough to add to Kenogirl's list, but there's a quote about how if our pets aren't allowed in Heaven, then Heaven is not a place you'd want to go. I believe that God loves our animals too.

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

whbos — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 19:06:25 GMT

When I lost my beloved Snuggles and Tiger six years ago, it took me more than two years to stop crying (yes, men do cry). I still thinking of them often, but the pain subsided. I had dreams about them during those two years where they were within reach, but I couldn't touch or hold them, or I was always looking for them. The dreams were nonstop and nearly every night.

Snuggles and Tiger's constant companion, Pooky, died today after a horrible illness I don't wish on anyone (kidney failure). It is fortunate that he didn't suffer to the end since I had him euthanized because he was getting worse. I feel like a murderer because I picked the date, but I feel a little better knowing that he didn't suffer. The pain will always be there, but it does begin to go away when you accept that they have gone to a better place. I believe in the hereafter and hope I will be able to see and be with my beloved pets. I also believe in ghosts and have had "visits" from Snuggles and/or Tiger so there has to be something to it. That has been a great comfort as well.

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

cats_dolls — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:54:29 GMT

I'm so sorry about Tyson, but I smiled when I read about Lucky. I do believe that God sends us exactly what we need when we need it - so maybe He sent you Lucky to help you heal, or maybe He sent you to Lucky because Lucky needed exactly the home and family you offered him! Or some of both.

Anyway I'm happy that you and Lucky have each other. Enjoy!

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

fudgeyfreak — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:18:06 GMT

On June 28, 2008 I lost my dear Tyson "Ty-Ty". I had him for about 3 yrs. My son's friend gave him to us. I was grieving so hard for him because he was such a sweet cat who always had a leg rub for anyone. On July 4, 2008 I was buying fireworks for my kids and we heard a tiny meow and right in the median of a busy intersection was a tiny black spot. We took him home and named him Lucky. He is about 8 weeks old and I don't know why or how he was in the middle of that road without getting hit, but I truly believe Tyson sent him to me to help me with my grieving to where I wouldn't miss him so much. I really miss Tyson, but I smile when I look at Lucky because I know Tyson had a part in bringing this tiny bundle of joy to me!

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

Maria3 — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 18:11:48 GMT

I lost a cat a month ago. I cry everytime I remember his death. Crying is necessary, but we must continue with our life. He wouldn´t be happy seeing you like this.

I think you should try to fill your timetable. It's useful when you have something to do.

I'm looking for another cat. I could not do anything for Luchi, and want to help another one in his memory. I'm looking for a abandoned senior cat, because he was such a cat himself. I think it's the best way of remembrance.

You say you would want another cat. Perhaps it´s too early, and perhaps you feel it's a treason taking another cat. My own answer has been looking for a cat that need help, because it´s the only thing can do for my dead cat. I will love the new one for himself (or herself), but I'm selecting him in Luchi's name (but different in apareance).

I hope you can find your way out of this misery. Your cat now is playing and happy. He is waiting for you, but he is patient.

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

elsam57 — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 08:34:04 GMT

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I lost two of my babies a couple months apart. It just ripped my heart out. That was almost 3 years ago and I still have my moments of severe missing although I adopted two little boys since then.

I found it helpful to me to just talk about it with people who will be supportive and cry as long as it took. I also made a scrapbook with alot of their pictures and favorite toys, locks of their hair and wrote stories about them and poems. This, for me, was a great grieving tool.

They will always be missed and loved and I never felt that the two I adopted 3 years ago took their place. Just filled some of the emptiness in my heart. I have no children and can't have them, so these guys are my family. Only a real cat or animal person can understand.

God bless you and I hope you will continue to feel better as time goes on.

Isaiah and Maxwell (and their mom of course)

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

girlcatgenius — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 18:43:14 GMT

I know what you're going through. Though I've never actually had a cat die i've had my little girl isabella get pregnant. that was bad because she had three beautiful little girls we couldn't keep any and we had to give away isabella. I loved her so much in fact i still cry every now and again . That was two years ago and like i said i still cry sometimes but you have to keep doing what you do best for me it's singing usually it helps a lot if you have a talent you can do to make yourself forget about it . It sounds harsh but thats the only way you can get over it just forget about your lost one for a couple hours a week . trust me you will notice that your not crying as much . give it a month or how ever much time you need and you will get results . but i've got a new kitty that reminds me of my isabella.though you never really forget about them.

my prayers are with anyone who has or still is in the grieving process.

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

Kittygirl — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 07:33:44 GMT

My cat Bumble died the 18th and I am still crying every day. It isn't the same without him because he brought happines into my life. I am not crying as bad though. http://www.catchannel.com/blog/viewbio.aspx?apid=84341

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

irisha — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 12:20:38 GMT

I feel your pain. It has only been a few days for me and don't know if I will ever stop crying. I don't think I will ever stop missing my guys.

You are not alone and I hope that you feel better. It may take another 4 months or 4 years before the tears stop, but our love for them will go on forever.

My thoughts are with you.

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

Nicky's Mom — Wed, 14 May 2008 10:50:12 GMT

Four months is a very short time. My mother still cries every day for her cat Buddy, who my father and I were also very close to. My father even cried when he had to have him put down. (he had diabetes and was put on the wrong meds, so his organs failed.) It's only been five months for us. Some of what you're going through reminds me of some of the things I've been doing. I just can't get very close to Woodstock, my mother's other cat, and I realized it's because he's not Buddy. (we had him since before Buddy died and he's been helping her a lot.)

It's been 17 years since I lost my first cat, Chessie to FeLV and I still cry about her. I thought I didn't have any pictures of her and discovered I was wrong. When I saw the pictures of her, I cried for most of the day! Please don't feel bad about the way you're feeling. It's okay to grieve for our loved ones. They can never be replaced.

Nicky's Mom

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

SuperCat — Sat, 10 May 2008 08:30:42 GMT

4 months is not a long time -- I can see why you are still feeling so dreadful, it takes time.

One day will come and all of the sudden you'll feel better! Afterall, if you weren't the one who had Leo, just think! You KNOW you gave him the best possible life he could have had! Like I said in my other post, he lived and existed anyways and wasn't it great that you were the one who got to have the experience of knowing such a great kitty!

Thoughts and prayers are with you!

RE: Four months and I can't stop crying...

cats_dolls — Fri, 09 May 2008 19:47:20 GMT

You're right in the middle of the grieving process. You can't rush it, it's not something you can go around or get over, the only way out is to go through it. It's awful but you will get through it.

The only advice I can give you is not to fight it. Live your feelings. When you feel like crying, cry. Give yourself permission to have whatever feelings you're having, and enter those feelings fully. You'll get through this - not over it - and you'll feel better.

Unless your male is acting lonely and you really need to get another kitty for him, wait. It doesn't sound to me like you are ready yet, but as I said in another reply, you will know when it is time. Take all the time you need, you're grieving as fast as you can.

May God give you peace.

Four months and I can't stop crying...

vettechgirl — Fri, 09 May 2008 18:30:59 GMT

It'll be four months since Leo left me this coming Sunday. I want to add another furry baby to our home, but in some strange way, part of me just can't find "That Connection" with another cat. I miss Leo so much. I feel like I'm replacing him. But my fiance and I are very spiritual people and greatly believe in balance of all things. We currently have two female and one male. We want another little boy, not only for those reasons, but because our one year old male has a lot of energy, and really needs a play buddy. The two female just don't play with him like he needs, and as much as we try, we can't play with him 24/7.

I just don't know what to do. I can't let go. I was my baby. Ever since he passed, I've been wanting to be a Mama more than ever before. But I can't do that right now because I'm not married yet, and we're not financially stable enough to do so.

I have so many emotions running in me I don't know what to do. My fiance doesn't understand. He wants to, but he wasn't as close to Leo as I was. Leo was my baby...my son...I'm praying so much that his soul will come back to me as my child when that day comes. I know that sounds crazy, but I just want him back...whatever it takes.

Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone ever been through his before? I can't afford a psychiatrist or I would. You guys are all I have.