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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 12:09:32 PM
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It'll be four months since Leo left me this coming Sunday. I want to add another furry baby to our home, but in some strange way, part of me just can't find "That Connection" with another cat. I miss Leo so much. I feel like I'm replacing him. But my fiance and I are very spiritual people and greatly believe in balance of all things. We currently have two female and one male. We want another little boy, not only for those reasons, but because our one year old male has a lot of energy, and really needs a play buddy. The two female just don't play with him like he needs, and as much as we try, we can't play with him 24/7.
I just don't know what to do. I can't let go. I was my baby. Ever since he passed, I've been wanting to be a Mama more than ever before. But I can't do that right now because I'm not married yet, and we're not financially stable enough to do so.
I have so many emotions running in me I don't know what to do. My fiance doesn't understand. He wants to, but he wasn't as close to Leo as I was. Leo was my baby...my son...I'm praying so much that his soul will come back to me as my child when that day comes. I know that sounds crazy, but I just want him back...whatever it takes.
Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone ever been through his before? I can't afford a psychiatrist or I would. You guys are all I have.
Ask me about Feline Leukemia
Vote for Leonardo DaVinci on his profile.
Help my departed angel make COTD in loving memory.
http://www.catchannel.com/blog/viewbio.aspx?apid=52065
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 5:16:29 PM
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| You're right in the middle of the grieving process. You can't rush it, it's not something you can go around or get over, the only way out is to go through it. It's awful but you will get through it. The only advice I can give you is not to fight it. Live your feelings. When you feel like crying, cry. Give yourself permission to have whatever feelings you're having, and enter those feelings fully. You'll get through this - not over it - and you'll feel better. Unless your male is acting lonely and you really need to get another kitty for him, wait. It doesn't sound to me like you are ready yet, but as I said in another reply, you will know when it is time. Take all the time you need, you're grieving as fast as you can. May God give you peace.
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 4:41:01 PM
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| 4 months is not a long time -- I can see why you are still feeling so dreadful, it takes time. One day will come and all of the sudden you'll feel better! Afterall, if you weren't the one who had Leo, just think! You KNOW you gave him the best possible life he could have had! Like I said in my other post, he lived and existed anyways and wasn't it great that you were the one who got to have the experience of knowing such a great kitty! Thoughts and prayers are with you!
SuperCat
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Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/25/2008 8:20:59 AM
Posts: 85,
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| Four months is a very short time. My mother still cries every day for her cat Buddy, who my father and I were also very close to. My father even cried when he had to have him put down. (he had diabetes and was put on the wrong meds, so his organs failed.) It's only been five months for us. Some of what you're going through reminds me of some of the things I've been doing. I just can't get very close to Woodstock, my mother's other cat, and I realized it's because he's not Buddy. (we had him since before Buddy died and he's been helping her a lot.) It's been 17 years since I lost my first cat, Chessie to FeLV and I still cry about her. I thought I didn't have any pictures of her and discovered I was wrong. When I saw the pictures of her, I cried for most of the day! Please don't feel bad about the way you're feeling. It's okay to grieve for our loved ones. They can never be replaced. Nicky's Mom
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Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/8/2008 11:42:59 AM
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| I feel your pain. It has only been a few days for me and don't know if I will ever stop crying. I don't think I will ever stop missing my guys. You are not alone and I hope that you feel better. It may take another 4 months or 4 years before the tears stop, but our love for them will go on forever. My thoughts are with you.
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Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 8/2/2008 8:00:14 PM
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Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 6/29/2008 6:42:30 PM
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I know what you're going through. Though I've never actually had a cat die i've had my little girl isabella get pregnant. that was bad because she had three beautiful little girls we couldn't keep any and we had to give away isabella. I loved her so much in fact i still cry every now and again . That was two years ago and like i said i still cry sometimes but you have to keep doing what you do best for me it's singing usually it helps a lot if you have a talent you can do to make yourself forget about it . It sounds harsh but thats the only way you can get over it just forget about your lost one for a couple hours a week . trust me you will notice that your not crying as much . give it a month or how ever much time you need and you will get results . but i've got a new kitty that reminds me of my isabella.though you never really forget about them. my prayers are with anyone who has or still is in the grieving process.
- girlcatgenius
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Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 9/8/2008 3:09:10 PM
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| I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I lost two of my babies a couple months apart. It just ripped my heart out. That was almost 3 years ago and I still have my moments of severe missing although I adopted two little boys since then. I found it helpful to me to just talk about it with people who will be supportive and cry as long as it took. I also made a scrapbook with alot of their pictures and favorite toys, locks of their hair and wrote stories about them and poems. This, for me, was a great grieving tool. They will always be missed and loved and I never felt that the two I adopted 3 years ago took their place. Just filled some of the emptiness in my heart. I have no children and can't have them, so these guys are my family. Only a real cat or animal person can understand. God bless you and I hope you will continue to feel better as time goes on. 
Isaiah and Maxwell (and their mom of course)
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