|
|
|
Senior Member
 
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 9/9/2009 10:58:19 AM
Posts: 411,
Visits: 512
|
|
Yesterday when my BF and I were sitting at the Vet's Office in the waiting area we could hear what was going on in the little exam room (not much distance between the seats and the door). Apparently a family was having their dog put down right there in the room and there was lots of crying and the father was saying 'I'm sorry buddy, I'm sorry'. I had to try SO hard to choke back tears, and I didn't even know the family or did I actually see the dog. Just last month my grandfather (whom I love very very much) passed away from cancer and I barely cried at his death, but here I am trying so hard not to cry as a family says good-bye to their best friend. It made me feel a little guilty.
Whenever I see those programs on tv (WWF or SPCA) that protest against animal cruelty (some really vivid videos of tigers being killed in the jungle, elephants being killed and their tusks removed, etc) I start bawling like a baby, but when I watch programs of children starving and dying in third world countries I feel terribly sad for them but I don't break down and cry. What's wrong with me?? Do I just somehow have more compassion towards animals than people?? Would that be a bad thing? It's just weird.
tommygirl
|
|
|
|
|
Supreme Being
Group: Peer Moderators
Last Login: Yesterday @ 10:48:52 AM
Posts: 1,424,
Visits: 1,409
|
|
I understand. I am very similar in regards to my emotions with animals and people. I'm not sure why, but it's like people have caused so much harm in the world, maybe I feel like turn about's fair play? But animals do not try to control their world. They simply are in their world and they do not question it. So when something changes and they are powerless to stop it, I think it's more hurtful. As humans, we can cause change, so why worry so much about them as opposed to animals?
That's not to say that you shouldn't cry when a family member dies, or when children are being starved or beaten and abused. It's just like a switch has gotten turned off somewhere. Every day on the news we are reminded of the horrors that are happening right under our noses. You almost have to become numb to negative human antics, or how would you cope with life.
You are not a bad person, so don't beat yourself up over this! It's just your mind's way of coping with life, and no one can ask you to change who you are.
Got Facebook? Join my group, FeLV Advocate, and support pro-life beliefs for feline leukemia cats!
[url=http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=116465280021&ref=ts][/url]
<a href="http://dragcave.net/view/aVYT"><img src="http://dragcave.net/image/aVYT.gif" style="border-width: 0" alt="Adopt one today!"/></a>
|
|
|
|
|
Senior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 9/9/2009 10:58:19 AM
Posts: 411,
Visits: 512
|
|
I think you are right about that, I think it might be a factor of animals being much more helpless than people (in the big picture). A lot of times if I'm in a money jam I will actually make sure the cats have more food than me! Perhaps because I know I can deal with less food, but the cats have no options other than me feeding them.
Thanks for your thoughtful response 
tommygirl
|
|
|
|
|
Senior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 11:37:27 AM
Posts: 345,
Visits: 1,122
|
|
| Tommygirl, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I am the same way, I can watch an infomercial about starving kids in Africa and I feel bad, but I can deal with it. Show me something about a cat or dog that has been mistreated and I cry like a baby! I'm not sure why it is that I can separate myself from other miseries in the world (starving children), maybe its because while I feel bad about them, I know at this point I can't do anything about it so I can sort of distance myself from it. I don't think that makes us bad people, just realistic. As far as your grandfather's death, don't feel bad because you weren't a sobbing, grief stricken mess. My brother had been sick for many years before he died of complications from diabetes. I was naturally upset, but he suffered terribly the last two years of his life and I was so relieved that it was finally over and he was no longer in pain. I don't think that makes me a bad person either. The fact that you can empathize and feel the sorrow of the people who had to euthanize their dog doesn't make you weird, I think it makes you a caring and compassionate person.
|
|
|
|
|
Senior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 9/9/2009 10:58:19 AM
Posts: 411,
Visits: 512
|
|
Aw that's so sweet, thank you. I guess everyone deals with things differently, perhaps I'm not a bad person after all. Maybe animal cruelty just draws a more physical sadness out of me, and human suffer makes me more inwardly depressed. Both the way you look at it, it's sadness both ways - not lack of emotion. Thanks for helping me realize this!
tommygirl
|
|
|
|
|
Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Today @ 5:36:05 AM
Posts: 2,649,
Visits: 5,605
|
|
| Tommygirl - first, you are absolutely NOT a "bad person." You're a very caring, compassionate woman whom I'm glad to call friend! There just is something about animals that really draws that out in some folks - I guess it's maybe that the animal doesn't understand what's happening to them? But my husband cried buckets when our cat died, yet never shed a tear when his father died, even though they were close. A psychiatrist told him that was quite normal, that many people have that kind of reaction.
Cats_Dolls  
|
|
|
|
|
Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 11:38:16 PM
Posts: 1,145,
Visits: 1,411
|
|
| I react the same way, I can't watch Animal Planets' Animal cops shows, they infuriate and upset me at the same time. (But not as upset as the Pedigree commercials the one that starts "I know I am a good dog" that just rips my heart out), but starving kids in Africa or Bengladesh, no problem- I'm usually annoyed by those "when's my show going to come back on", "the film crew that's shooting this footage, can't they give the kid a sandwich?" IMO It's harder to care when the problem is half a world away. But those of us here care so much about our four legged friends because we take in strays, or adopt from shelters, rehabilitate ferals or foster abused animals that we see that problem as clearly as the people who feed starving children. I'm sure people who are regular givers to the starving in third world countries feel that there aren't enough of them to go aroud and that's how we feel about animals, that there's not enough of us to go around and make any kind of impact on the problem.
My cats own my house they just permit me to live there. Only cat lovers know the luxury of fur-coated, musical hot water bottles that never go cold."
- Susanne Millen 
|
|
|
|
|
Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/25/2009 5:51:54 PM
Posts: 10,
Visits: 39
|
|
I'm the same way those animal crudity commercials make me so sad but the child starving ones don't make me as sad. I think it is because i'm a animal person.
 
|
|
|
|
|
Senior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 9/7/2009 8:03:44 AM
Posts: 257,
Visits: 328
|
|
| I am the same way. I didn't cry nearly as much over my Mom & Dad when they died as I did over my dogs or my cat. I cry & feel worse over animal abuse & neglect too. I think I would have lost it in the vet's office if I'd heard that. I guess I just have more compassion for animals. They are so innocent & trusting and helpless. staffordmom
|
|
|
|
|
Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 9/14/2009 7:52:46 PM
Posts: 51,
Visits: 144
|
|
Yeah, I agree with the idea that it is their innocence and helplessness that makes it so tuff losing a pet. Also with our parents and grandparents we usually have a while to learn to accept losing them, and hopefully after a long and good life. But with pets, I think it is their meteoric life cycle, where we hold them one day as little kittens and then too soon have to let them go, that makes it seem unbearable.
As for the Vets office, I gave it up for a Mobile Vet, but before that I wouldn't go in without a pair of sunglasses at the ready. (I'm a bearded Texas guy and not suppose to blubber)
And I don't know how you can watch those animal shows. The sad ones make me boo hoo and the ones on abuse make me want to shoot someone.
|
|
|
|