|
|
|
Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/22/2009 8:55:50 PM
Posts: 2,
Visits: 5
|
|
Please, if anyone has any suggestions how to help my husband and myself cope with the loss of all our very precious Burmese kitties, please post. Being retired, and never having the children we always wanted to have, our kitties, and our dog are/were our babies.
The morning someone lit our home on fire I had just barely gotten up, my husband got up about 15 minutes later, and joined me in our computer room. I heard a small 'pop' sound from the area of our bedroom, then heard a 2nd one and decided I *had* to investigate. I yelled to my husband from the kitchen, that the house was on fire. He ran into the bedroom to get our dog (an Australian Shepherd 'Hannah') out of her crate. She was crate trained when we adopted her, and the kitties 'ran' her, except 2 who befriended her and would lay with her. Hannah was the only pet allowed into the bedroom because I have asthma and have to sleep with oxygen. The kitties had the run of the rest of the house, including having one room all their own. That's where we had a large enclosure for our 'male' cat, with a cat tree nearby so he could talk to the other kitties. Some were breeding females, some neutered of both sexes. Each one so different, so very precious in their own ways. We ran out of the house, my in pjs, my husband only in a robe, with the ceiling on fire, falling on us. It burned sooo fast.. we had no way to get the kitties.
It's been 3 months now, and still we break down every time we let ourselves even think of them. Only 6 of the bodies have been recovered, buried by our neighbor, but 5 are unaccounted for. The house was a total loss. There are some pieces of our parents jewelry we'd like to try to find, but I fear searching too much.. it would be so very hard to come across the others. We plan to return to Hawaii (home for us, as it was for them) and get other kitties, when the insurance is settled. I will have a plaque made up with their names on it, and have those same neighbors put the plaque on a bench near where he buried them.
How long does this pain go on? What can we do to help get over it? We both avoid bringing up the subject of them, and their dear ways, to keep from breaking down again. They were so very dear, each so different. I still feel guilt from not having tried to get back in to get some out, knowing I probably wouldn't have gotten out.
The arsonist was inside the house when it started. The phone line was cut, the smoke alarm had been tampered with and didn't go off, the fire extinguisher (altho never used) was empty. The main front door was left open (which was why our dog got out, without her leash, ahead of us), and the kitty room door was blocked from inside.. with Kimmie (our Boy) inside it. The person who started the fire tampered with our gas line, under our bedroom, then got out thru the kitty room, to the garage, and out the back door into the woods.
Please, if you have any ideas how to help us go on, let me know?
|
|
|
|
|
Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 1:39:53 PM
Posts: 1,149,
Visits: 1,092
|
|
That is a terrible story, how can someone do that!  I am so sorry for your loss, that is just terrible. But let yourself mourn don't ignore the sadness, let it out somehow. Cry when you want to cry, it just feels better. Sorry for your loss.
  
"The really great thing about cats is their endless variety. One can pick a cat to fit any kind of decor, color scheme, income, personality, mood. But under the fur, whatever color it may be, there still lies, essentially unchanged, one of the world's free souls." Eric Gurnery
|
|
|
|
|
Senior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 9:06:36 PM
Posts: 484,
Visits: 11,775
|
|
That is horrible!I am soo sorry for your loss!I agree with minibeast cry when you wanna cry.Give your self enough time to mourn!Again so sorry for you loss!
  "I look at all the caged animals in the shelter...the cast-offs of human society.I saw in their eyes love and hope,fear and dread,sadness and betrayal.And I was angry."God" I said,this is terrible!Why dont you do something?God was silent for a moment and then He spoke softly."I have done something,"He replied."I created you"~Jim Willis
|
|
|
|
|
Senior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 1:16:27 PM
Posts: 354,
Visits: 1,144
|
|
| Kiri, I'm so sorry about your kitties and your house. What a terrible thing to happen, it just doesn't make sense why people do what they do. I think that you and your husband need to talk about your kitties. I realize that it will be hard to do, but sometimes talking your way through your grief is the way to begin healing. I don't mean you have to be morbid about it and dwell on it, I just think that talking about the good things and remembering the good times you had with your babies is good for you. And it's okay to cry when you remember them, crying releases the grief and cleans your soul. It will take a long time for you to heal, please remember that there are a lot of caring people here on catchannel who have experienced the loss of a beloved pet and we are always here if you need someone to talk to.
|
|
|
|
|
Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 7:00:17 PM
Posts: 2,681,
Visits: 5,671
|
|
| OH my goodness! I'm totally absolutely astounded! You and your husband are definitely in my prayers. A loss of this magnitude is difficult to take in just reading about it, not to mention living through it! I agree with the others. DO talk about it. Grief held inward will eat you up. Sharing your feelings, whatever they are - guilt, sadness, anger, or whatever - with each other and with others will help you learn to work through this enormous loss. Every tear you shed is a drop of pain released. Have you had any counseling since this happened? If that's an option for you, a grief counselor could be of major assistance. If not, check around for any grief groups in your area. There are some that are for specific losses and others that are for people working through all types of losses. And of course come here and share all you want to. We're all a group of caring, compassionate people, and while we may not have experienced a tragedy of this magnitude, most of us have experienced the loss of at least one beloved cat. All of us here being cat-lovers ourselves, we do understand how your cats are your babies. I'm so sorry.
Cats_Dolls  
|
|
|
|
|
Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/22/2009 8:55:50 PM
Posts: 2,
Visits: 5
|
|
We had one female blue Burmese, very similar to your lovely gray kitty. She was beautiful, and she knew it. She used to sit in front of mirrors and admire herself. She also felt she was the 'boss' and would pat our dog on the rear end whenever Hannah needed to go out for a walk, or when it was time for her to go to bed.
I'm glad I decided finally, to post on here. Having read other's painful stories of loss, I knew you all would understand. I know that we were as good as we could possibly be to our kitties, always. At least we have that knowledge.
Nine years ago, when we had to return to the mainland from Hawaii, we brought 8 of our kitties with us. One, my first little girl Napaia, was due to deliver any day. I carried her in the cabin with me, under the seat part of the time, and had all the tools that might be needed, if she went into delivery on the flight. I don't think the airlines would allow that now, since I had scissors, and needle and thread, just in case. Luckily she didn't go into labor until the following morning after we arrived. We began breeding the kitties after importing a male and female (Kimmie and Georgie Brown), from Tasmania, so they wouldn't have to go through quarantine. Hawaii had a 4 month quarantine to prevent rabies coming in, at that time.
Georgie and Napaia had their first litters 1 day apart, and Georgie used to steal Napaia's kittens from their box into hers. We ended up putting their boxes together and they raised the kittens jointly.
We lost Napaia last year. I'd found a small lump near her tummy and immediately took her to the vet, since I know that *if* it's malignant, there's a higher chance of saving her if it's tended to asap. We'd had her neutered a few years earlier, due to an infection in her tubes. We had the vet do all possible tests to be sure she'd be okay with the surgery, and she did come through it alright, but very suddenly died soon after she began waking. I don't blame the vet, but still could not take any of our others to him after that. We found another vet, a bit further from our home.
We had gotten Napaia and Simba (both sable) as a gift from us, to us, for our first Christmas together. Simba was still in excellent health when the fire happened.
Thank you all, for your comments. I'll probably post small things about each of our babies, on here.. knowing you understand. One thing I still have to smile about is that Georgie still let the 6 and 7 year old kitties nurse, anytime they wanted. She was such a natural Mommy!
Hugs, Kiri
|
|
|
|
|
Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 7:00:17 PM
Posts: 2,681,
Visits: 5,671
|
|
| Kiri, please do come back often and tell us all the little stories. As you guessed, we all love to share them! And I think you'll find that as you begin talking about your great losses, and telling us about all the little cute things that your kitties did, you will start to feel better. Your memories will become a comfort to you. I'm glad you came back tonight, I was watching for you all day long hoping we'd hear from you soon. You & your husband will remain in my prayers.
Cats_Dolls
|
|
|
|
|
Senior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 9/7/2009 8:03:44 AM
Posts: 257,
Visits: 328
|
|
| What a horrible experience for you and your husband to have had to go through! It's only been 3 months, give yourself time to grieve. Talk about only the good things about them. You'll be in my prayers. staffordmom
|
|
|
|
|
Senior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 11/17/2009 1:08:20 PM
Posts: 421,
Visits: 622
|
|
| I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine your pain but I know your kitties were special and loved dearly. Please keep coming back to share with us. You & your husband are in my prayers.
 
|
|
|
|
|
Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 9/4/2009 10:45:55 PM
Posts: 727,
Visits: 945
|
|
| At first I thought I'd wait until I stopped crying, but that just wasn't happening. I cannot even begin to imagine how you both must feel. I am 51, never had (human) kids so my animals are my children, like you and yours. I have 18 kitties, losing one leaves a huge hole, they all have such unique personalities! To lose them all.... I can't even try to go there. It can be difficult to find others who truely understand how devastating the loss of a "pet" can be! This place, CC, is filled with people who do. When someone new comes in I say "Welcome to the CC family" because that is what this place feels like. Share your memories, pictures, whatever you feel up to. We will be right here with you!
CricketYou don't have to be crazy to be my friend, but it helps!!! 
|
|
|
|