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Junior Member
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Last Login: 10/20/2009 5:00:18 PM
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Before you rain down your critics on me (other forums already did that and provided no advice) please note that im a cat lover and what im gonna tell below was nothing but a cruel accident that I wont be able to forget:
So I have this beautiful 9 year old daughter and last week I got her a 10 week old kitten for her birth day (the others at the shelter where over 5 years and she asked for a kitten) so after getting all the necesary stuff to make sure the kitten grew up healthy.
So it all began this morning, my daughter fed her kitten as I taught her to, then she went with her mom to her grandmas and I Stayed as I wasnt feeling all that good, after a few hours of sleep I woke up hungry, all I could find on my fridge was meat, so I went to the gas grill and turned it on, our grill belonged to my wifes dad, so its really old, and takes a while to heat inside, so I turned the gas all the way up with the lid closed.
It usually takes around 30 minutes to get to 200 degrees so I went and took a shower so I could feel better (flu always hits me real hard), when I go out to the yard to place the meat in the grill I noticed this really awful smell coming out of it. When I open the lid I saw the most horrible thing ever, "blacky" my daughters kitten was inside!!, obviously dead. I will not go trough the details on describing her at the time.
After cleaning up and buriying the kitten I made sure there was no evidence left, I totally cleared the smell from the place, got rid of the grill and spent hours tryng to realize how it all happened.
The only conclusion to me is that the kitten climben inside the grill and that when I turned it on the kitten just had no way out.
My daughter and wife came home a few hours later, Helen, my daughter looked for the kitten everywhere as her granny gave her some kitten toys so "blacky" could play. I told her I had not seen blacky all the afternoon, but that she would appear later, that that was how kittens where.
I did not have the heart to tell her blackie was no more because her father was too lazy to open the grills lid, tough I did tell my wife at night when Helen was sleeping, she got a little mad but we agreed to tell her the next day that blackie had scaped.
Now I called the shelter and they still have blackies brothers and sisters, I was thinking to replace blackie so my daughter wouldnt notice, I know its just wrong but I dont want her to suffer, specially after being so responsible with the kitten, besides I dont think she would ever forgive me if she found out.
Any advice? what should I do? Please no negative comments, what I saw today is something I wont be able to forget, it was just indescriptible, horrible.
Thanks, John Klose.
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Senior Member
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| Hi John, wow, I'm very sorry that I don't have any advice for you, I just wanted to say how sorry I am about what happened. I know that you didn't intentionally kill your daughter's cat and it's obvious that you feel terrible about it. It will take a long time for you to get over this, if you ever do, this is a very hard lesson to learn and I'm so very sorry for you. I'm not sure how you should best handle the situation. Please don't tell your daughter what really happened, she's too young to understand and I think it could be devastating to her. I'm torn here because I also can't condone replacing her cat and telling her it's her Blackie. I'm sorry that I'm not much help, please hold on, there are other people here that I'm sure will have some very good advice for you. Again, I can't say how sorry I am, please try not to be too hard on yourself for what was a truly horrible accident.
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Supreme Being
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| I hurt for you - I can't imagine how much pain and guilt you must be feeling! As for your little girl: No good will be served by telling her the details of her kitten's disappearance. Nor will any good be done by trying to pass off one of her kitten's littermates as her kitten. But why not go adopt one (or two) of the littermates anyway? You could tell her that you liked her kitten so much that you decided to get the other one too. She'll gradually accept that kitten #1 isn't coming back, but this way she will still have a kitten, and you will have provided a good home for the new homeless kitten. Oh - yes, I am sure you will provide a good home for another kitten. Accidents do happen. You made a terrible mistake, but that will make you more careful in the future.
Cats_Dolls  
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Junior Member
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Last Login: 10/16/2009 6:01:44 AM
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| Oh I am sorry for your loss. I know how hard it will for you to get over it, so I dont think your little girl needs the details of how Blackie left her. My father started the car one morning and didnt know Boots was on the engine. His guilt was too much for him especially watching his little girl calling for her kitten. He told me the truth and I started having nightmares so no I dont think you need to tell her now. Take her back to the shelter to get another one (or two) and tell her they should be indoor cats for a while until they know where they live. And tell her to keep an eye out for Blackie, he still may come home. If not someone has found him and is loving him as much as she did. Time heals and thats what you need. Good luck and forgive yourself. Accidents happen even horrible ones.
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Member
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Last Login: 11/12/2009 11:46:06 PM
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I'm so sorry for what has happened. I can only imagine what you are going through, it must be awful.
I think in the case of your daughter, whatever you tell her don't keep her hopes up be saying he's run away but might come back. She will be waiting everyday for Blackie and he'll never show up. That will be even more heartbreaking for her.
But I agree don't tell her about the accident, that would be awful for her.
I really think you should tell her that Blackie isn't coming home, kids understand things a lot better then adults give them credit for. Even if you tell a little white lie like he was ill and couldn't stay with you or something like that.
I am terribly sorry for your loss. I hope you are feeling better soon.
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Supreme Being
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Oh, John, I am so very, very, deeply sorry for your loss. I can't possibly imagine how you must be feeling. Please know that we are here to support you. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT! It was a complete accident! Please don't beat yourself up. Everyone makes mistakes. Maybe God had bigger and better plans for Blackie's little soul- I'm sure he can always use angel kitties...
I agree with Cats Dolls and what everyone else has said. Spare your daughter the details. A little white lie is okay- this kind of situation is just too horrific to try and explain to a 9 year old. And, as mentioned above, you certainly don't want her to have nightmares.
I think adopting one or two of the siblings is a great idea!
We're here to support you however we can. So sorry you got such criticism from other forums. You will find that here we are like one big family and look out for one another. So, welcome to the family, even if it is under such bad circumstances. We're here for you.
Got Facebook? Join my group, FeLV Advocate, and support pro-life beliefs for feline leukemia cats!
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Supreme Being
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Junior Member
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Last Login: 10/20/2009 5:00:18 PM
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Well thank you all for your concern and prayers, after reading your replies and talking to my wife we decided to talk to our daughter, we told her blackie had been missing for too long and that chances where she wasnt coming home, that maybe someone found her and gave her a home.
Of course there was crying on her part, it really did break my heart (she was taking so much care of the kitten) but we told her blackies brothers and sisters where still on the shelter and that they could use someone as loving as her to help them grow up and play with. So after a day of waiting we went to the shelter and adopted grace, tom and kitty.
Grace and kitty are blackies sister and brother, they are 11 weeks old, tom on the other hand is a 14 week old kitten who our daughter just fell in love with. Id post pics, but currently my daughter wont let me, she says the kittens are still on "their way of becoming even handsomer" (that one really made my day!) so she wants me to wait.
We had a few shelter personnel on our home to check everything was in order (space, fenced backyard, etc) he also asked our availability to spay and neuter the cats in 6 months (tough our daughter doesnt want too, the shelter seems ok with it, as long as we keep all the kittens offspring and find them a good home if necessary) the house is full of life again, our dog Tao (german shepard) has already accepted the kittens, and even protects them and lets them get on top of him.
My daughter is happy and so are the kittens, I promise to post pictures once they are "handsomer".
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Supreme Being
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I'm so glad to hear everything worked out! We love happy endings!  Are you sure you don't want to have the kittens spayed/neutered? I'm not sure if you've ever experienced a female (or even a male) cat in heat before but they catterwal and carry on something HORRIBLE! My mom wouldn't have my cat spayed when I was younger. I lived for 7 years with little sleep during her heat periods. Also, cats do not have 'clock work' heat cycles, say like humans do. Cats will come into heat if they smell a male around. So, sometimes it seems like they are constantly in heat. Not spaying and neutering can also cause health concerns down the road for adult cats. Pyometra, breast cancer, prostate cancer, etc are just a few things to be worried about. And, in this economy, it is becoming harder and harder to find homes for kittens (any animal for that matter). The number of animals for adoption has sky rocketed and more and more animals are being euthanized in shelters every day because there just isn't room for them. Desperate families are having to surrender their beloved pets to shelters because they just can't afford to take care of them anymore. I know you have good intentions, but around here, most of us are pro spay/neuter. Well, I'll get off my soap box! So glad to hear things are going well (again, I am still very sorry for your loss). Can't wait to see the 'Handsomer' kitties! And tell your daughter it's okay if she doesn't think they are 'handsomer' yet- we love watching little kitties grow up!
Got Facebook? Join my group, FeLV Advocate, and support pro-life beliefs for feline leukemia cats!
[url=http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=116465280021&ref=ts][/url]
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Supreme Being
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| Now this sounds like the best possible outcome to your story - your daughter gets the kittens she so much wanted, and not just one but three kittens found a good loving home! I agree with VetTechGirl, though, about spaying/neutering them. A female cat will come into heat between 4-6 months of age and will continue to cycle in and out until she's either spayed or pregnant. Gestation takes about 60 days, after which she will nurse the kittens for about 6 weeks. It's easily possible for that one female to produce 3 litters a year, and cats usually have more than one kitten per litter - even as many as 6! That's a lot of cats to take care of or find good homes for.
Cats_Dolls
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